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Short and Funny Story
Here's a short and funny story based on an absolutely true story that I tell in my act. I'll add other funny stories written by me and other stand-up comics I know of varying degrees of famousness.
I call this short and funny story ...
P.S. Click here! Be a super agent in Operation Otter.
My Two-Day Bout with Bulimia
While reading a women's magazine, I come across a story about a woman who suffered from bulimia for over seven years. What really gets me is that they run a photo spread of this woman with body image issues--a photo spread!
I look at the pictures of this poor woman's body and think to myself, "Wow, she looks great. How can I too jump on the bulimia bandwagon?" In between unnecessary jibber jabber, the article does indeed show me how.
I wake up the next day eager to start on my journey into unhealthy thinness. The article had revealed to me that bulimia is a simple, two-step process. I excel at step one--eating. Showing a goal-orientedness that seems to onlycome out on my most ill-devised plans, I eat the entire contents of my refrigerator and drink lots of water. Step one completed. Success!
On my way to the powder room for step two, I pass by the television set. Naturally, like all televisions, it was playing back-to-back episodes of "Law and Order." Strangely, I did not recognize this particular episode.
I stop to investigate further. I confirm that I have already seen this episode by watching it all the way to the end, and hanging around for the following two episodes.But during this time, unbeknownst to me, something terrible happens. I start digesting! My dream is foiled.
I recover from the initial upset with Scarlet O'Hara-like spirit,Tomorrow is another day. I can try again. I order takeout. I watch many "Law and Order" re-runs, a few CSI's, some nature show about fire ants, and go to bed.
I wake up. I eat the extra takeout I ordered the night beforespecifically for this purpose. Note: I am dedicated. I stay focused. I walk right by the television. Note: I am disciplined.
Step two, the big purge, has arrived ...
Click for Part two of this short and funny story
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