Really Funny Jokes Part Two

Really Funny Jokes for You

One day, a class of third graders from the city was taking a field trip to the country to visit a small farm. The kids were amazed to see all the different kinds of animals on the farm. So the farmer asks one little girl, "What's the difference between a rooster and a hen?""The hen lays eggs." replied the little girl."Very good!" said the farmer. Then the farmer asked another little girl, "What's the difference between a duck and a turkey?""Well," replied the little girl. "Turkeys can't swim and turkeys are what we have on Thanksgiving Day.""Very good!" exclaimed the farmer. Then he asks little Johnny, "Do you know the difference between a bull and a cow?""Yes, I do" replied little Johnny from the city. "Bulls smile when you milk them."

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#7 Really Funny Jokes - The Appointment

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients.As he approached the receptionist' s desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, 'YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?'All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man.He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied,'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.

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#8 Funny Husband Joke - Remembering Important stuff

I forget things. All the time. Even important stuff, like my wife's birthday and our anniversary.This year, I had an idea for solving my dilemma. I set up an account with the florist, with instructions to send flowers to my wife for every important event -- Mother's Day, Valentine's, birthday, anniversary. .. even the anniversary of our first date. And with each batch of flowers there was a note: "From your loving husband."Needless to say, I screwed it up. On my wife's birthday, I walked in the door, noticed the bouquet on the table, and promptly said..."Nice flowers honey! Where'd you get 'em?"

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#9 Funny Military Joke - Breaking bad news to the troops

The Major called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me."

So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander."

Later that day the Major called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?"

"Yes, sir," answered the Sarge.

A few months later, the Major called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful."

So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"

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#10 Funny Redneck Joke - Sky Dive

A redneck wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told the redneck to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The redneck understood and was ready.The time came to have the redneck jump from the air plane. The instructor reminded the redneck that he would be right behind him. The redneck proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for a few seconds pulled the rip cord. The instructor followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the redneck.The redneck, seeing this, yelled as he undid the straps to his parachute, "So you wanna race, eh?"

Next page of really funny jokes

Funny Jokes Part One • Free Funny Jokes Part 3
• Really Funny Free Jokes Part 4

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