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Catching The Bear - Funny Clean JokesTwo men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, “You skin this one while I go and get another!” Old George - Funny Clean Jokes George, 70, was talking to his priest at the grocery store. Having not seen George at church the priest asked George, "Are you at peace with yourself? Do you have a good relationship with your God?” George replied, “God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! the light goes on when I pee, and then poof! the light goes off when I’m done.” “Wow,” commented Rev. Smith, “That’s incredible!” A little later in the day Rev. Smith called George’s wife. “Thelma,” he said, “I’m in awe of George's relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom and then poof! the light goes off?” George’s wife exclaimed, “That old fool! He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!” The Juggler and Police Man - Funny Clean Jokes A professional juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are you doing with these matches and lighter fluid in your car?" asks the police officer. "I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act." "Oh yeah? Let's see you do it," says the officer. So the juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torchesmasterfully. A couple driving by slows down to watch. "Wow," says the driver to his wife. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!" Blonde Wisdom - Funny Clean Jokes There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says, "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day." Bartender Bartenders and waiters have heard 'em all. But what we rarely hear is someone turning down a drink. "Nah, I better not have one," said one man after I offered him a glass of wine. "I have the world's worst stomach. I eat so many antacids that if I were to keel over dead right this minute, I'd leave my own chalk outline." You Are So Beautiful There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You're beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You're cute!” Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.” She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’? His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!” Go to Otter Funny Stuff and Other Stuff Home
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