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Funny Christmas Jokes and Stories Part 4
Previous Funny Christmas Jokes & Stories Page
If you've already read through the first three pages of funny Christmas jokes AND you've become a Super Agent in Operation Otter and visited the Otter Blog, then you can skip this plug.
If not, then visit those links. You will make a total stranger's dreams come true and may even enjoy it. :)
Your Funny Christmas Jokes
Q: Why does Santa always go down the chimney?
A: Because it soots him!
Q: What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?
A: "Looks like rein dear"
Patient: My problem is that I keep stealing things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you give me something for it?
Doctor: Try this medicine...and if it doesn't work come back and bring me a new video camera.
Q: What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Father Christmas?
A: A rebel without a Claus!
Q: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
A: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.
Q: What do female reindeer do when Santa takes all the male reindeer out on Christmas eve?
A: They go into town, and blow a few bucks.
Elf reads note to Father Christmas: Dear Father Christmas, could you please send me some Crocodile shoes!
Father Christmas: Can't do that one. He hasn't said what size his crocodile takes!
Longer Funny Christmas Jokes
& Funny Christmas Stories
Disappointed - Funny Christmas Jokes
Alex was five; all his Christmas presents were always signed, 'from Father Christmas.'
'What's the matter, Al?' I asked.
'Ummmm, 'replied Alex slowly, 'I really hoped that you and Mummy would give me something for Christmas.'
So that's how that got started! - Funny Christmas Stories
Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the sick elves. Santa was begiining to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Clause told Santa that her mum was going to come and visit. This stressed santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More Stress.
Then he began to load his sleigh, when one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the floor and scattered the toys.
Totally frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of tea and a shot of sherry. When he went to the cupboard, he found the elves had drank all his liquor and there was nothing to drink.
In his frustration, he dropped his tea pot and it shattered into a million pieces and all over the kitchen floor. He got his broom to sweep all the bits up only to find that the mice had eaten the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the door bell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door to see a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said: "Where would you like to put this tree fat man?"
And that my friends, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree.
Monastery Joke - Funny Christmas Stories
At a monastery high in the mountains, the monks have a rigid vow of silence. Only at Christmas, and only by one monk, and only with one sentence, is the vow allowed to be broken.
One Christmas, Brother Thomas is allowed to speak and he says, "I like the mashed potatoes we have with the Christmas turkey!" and he sits down. Silence ensues for 365 days.
The next Christmas, Brother Michael gets his turn, and he says "I think the mashed potatoes are lumpy and I hate them!"
Once again, silence for an entire year. The following Christmas, Brother Paul rises and says, "I am fed up with this constant bickering!"
More Really Funny Jokes
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