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Funny Christmas Jokes and Stories (Part Two)
Funny Christmas Jokes and Stories Part OneWelcome to Inspirational-Otter.com! I hope you enjoy these old school jokes. They are a bribe to get you to my website and lure you into being a fan of my stand-up comedy and writing. Feel free to visit my Otter Blog or Join Operation Otter. A Few Short Funny Christmas Jokes Q&A StyleQ: Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?A: Because the angel had said, "No L!" Q: What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?A: Thanks, I'll never part with it ! Q: Why couldn't the butterfly go to the Christmas ball? A: It was a moth ball ! Q: What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective? A: Santa Clues! Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elf-abet! Longer Funny Christmas Jokes
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A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. "Nice bike," the cop said, "did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yep, the little girl said, "he sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5.00 ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."
The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yes, he sure did, " chuckled the cop.
The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."
Shopping For A Turkey
It was Christmas Eve in a supermarket and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few remaining turkeys in the hope of finding a large one.
In desperation she called over a shop assistant and said "Excuse me. Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
"No" he replied, "They're all dead".
Feminist Reindeer's Story at Christmas
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.
Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should have known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
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