Funny Birthday Poems

Funny birthday poems for you written by your friendly neighborhood, otter. These poems are all original so if you copy them into a card you can look original. But these are just for your personal use.

Ode to An Aging Man

Oh how your bones creak
as you rise from the couch.
Or how you make a grunting sound
even when no poop comes out.
Hark! Our king is rising
to go to the kitchen for another beer.
Let's celebrate this special day
your liver made it another year.
Happy Birthday!

Really Stupid Birthday Poem

Happy Birthday to you!
You got old, but I did, too.
You look fat and dumpy,
and you wear ugly shoes.

Short Birthday Wishes

It's your birthday.
Be happy.
Or not.
Don't let anybody force their crap on you, it's birthday for crying out loud.

Birthday Present Shopping

I wanted to get you a present
to wish you Happy Birthday.
I wanted something pleasant,
but not something totally lame.
But parking was such a hassle
The mall was a pain in the ass,
so I got you this card at 7-11
and figured I'd give you some cash.

You're Old

You're too old for a new bike,
to young for a wheel chair.
Too old to hire a clown
too young to no longer care
that your friends are closer to death
and really so are you
so enjoy one of your happy birthdays
your days are becoming few.

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